To My Someday

Love is not enough.

There is string that connects you to everyone who cares for you. When you miss someone or remember how much you love them, it resonates as a plucked harp string. Sometimes it spring back like a rubber band. And sometimes you can feel the hollow ache where you know love should be, but you search and search in the dark hole but all you can find is more empty chambers where you can barely chase whips of memories and feelings.

There are days when you’ll drown under the things you haven’t done and things you wish you’d done differently. You’ll wonder about the opinions of the mysterious them. Why are those people laughing behind my back? What do my friends really think of me? Where has my weekend gone? Shouldn’t I have done more by now? The questions will gnaw at your stomach as you lie awake late into the night after your eyes have refused to close.

You will hold the hand of the love of today and be lost in the needs of the tomorrows. You will say I’ll do this today and then it’ll be tomorrow and tomorrow until the week goes by. Time is an endless expanse broken up by points you can’t ignore. But as you watch the minutes fade by, does when really matter? You want to be here in the moment with him, with her, but all you can see is the laters you’ve already lost.

You will nod as she says you can do this and know she is wrong. You will promise to do better but know the words are empty. The couch, the chair, the bed are your worse enemies. Free days are the worst days to accomplish anything. And you will tell her another time even though you should have done everything else already and she is always worth the now.

And you’ll be left sitting alone, watching the time come and go. You’ll feel all the things you should be doing pile up over your head. There will be the moment you feel lost and empty inside because all you want is more time, but you can’t even handle the now. You know you love her, but you can’t even feel it because you’re lost in what you have to do.

Love isn’t enough, so get off your butt. Do what needs to be done because you can only live in the now. Love can’t travel in a vacuum.

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